Why Do Kids Bully?

This series of posts explores the roots and provides recommended responses to childhood bullying. Here’s the introduction to the series:

 Dealing with Bullies and Bullying: Introduction

Why Do Kids Bully?


With bullying on the rise in our schools, it’s more important than ever for kids and parents to understand the underlying causes of bullying and bullies. This is the second post in a series examining bullying and offering insights for adults and students interested in reducing the negative impacts of bullying.


Why do kids behave this way?


A lot of bullying occurs in or around school (on the playground, cafeteria, bus, etc.). While there are more serious reasons behind bullying behavior, most bullies are kids who are trying to impress their peers. (These days, it’s equally likely that a bully can be a girl or a boy.) The bully will usually choose as their victim someone who is perceived as “different” or weaker than them.

Who is bullied?


Reasons a bully might single out their victim can be wide ranging, including everything from a speech impediment, body weight, small size, shyness, lack of coordination, or any other variety of causes. The one common trait is that the bully perceives their victim as weaker and a target. In a recent study, 77% of the students said they had been bullied. 14% of those who were bullied said they experienced severe (bad) reactions to the abuse.


What does the bully feel?


Bullies are driven by an urge to make others feel inferior—often due to their own insecurities. Trying to impress others by showing how big and tough they are helps them to feel more powerful and gain some limited sense of self worth. Unfortunately, it can have a damaging, long-lasting, and negative impact on the victim. Frequently, victims of bullying can be afflicted with depression, can consider suicide and may even lash out with violence that extends beyond the bully to friends and classmates.


Bullying is a learned behavior


In some cases, the bully is acting on learned behavior. They may have issues at home with an angry parent or parents. In their home environment, the message (spoken or unspoken) may be that violence can be used to solve problems. As a result, their pent up emotions, aggressions and frustrations boil over into aggressive and often violent behavior. When unresolved, these issues can continue on into adulthood. More often than not, bully parents produce kids who are bullies and continue the cycle.