How should adults respond to bullying?

This series of posts explores the roots and provides recommended responses to childhood bullying. Here’s the introduction to the series:

 Dealing with Bullies and Bullying: Introduction


With bullying on the rise in our schools, it’s more important than ever for kids and parents to understand the underlying causes of bullying and bullies.

Step #1: Listen

When a parent or teacher first learns that a child is a victim of bullying, their first inclination is to ask if the child did anything to bring on this unwanted attention (teasing, wise cracks etc.). This may not be the ideal response. Adults (including parents, teachers, and school administrators) should take care to listen to the child who is reporting the bullying. If a child is describing being bullied, don’t take the position of, “it’s just kids being kids”. Bullying is assault, and its effects should not be taken lightly.

Step #2: Take Action

Determine when and where the bullying is taking place and speak to the adult in charge of that particular place (cafeteria monitor, bus driver, teacher). Ask them to closely monitor the behavior and interaction of the kids involved. If the harassment continues, most schools have disciplinary actions in place to deal with the situation. If the bullying is taking place at an individual’s home (friend, relative, neighbor) the adults should try to get together for a heart to heart talk and determine a solution to the problem.

Step #3: Monitor

After talking with the bully, the adults (parents, teachers, etc.) should carefully monitor the situation for several days to see if the problem persists. Don’t assume the bully will quit because they got a stern talking to, suspended etc. Remember that when confronted, a bully will often say all the right things, and then continue to bully their victim(s).


In a later post, we examine the best response to continued bullying.